Self-Portrait Series

What is hidden inside?

Happiness (2022)

What is happiness? Can we buy it with happy pills and money? Is it related to the family, kids, or love?

Can we be happy and successful at the same time?

During five years of family life and two years of business, I understand better now what is happiness for me. Success is when you are happy. Everything is smooth, you have your mental and physical health in place and all your needs are complete.

Even if you are happy, can it be the for the long term or is a short moment like a butterfly moving its wings? We can eat “happiness” pills but then we are addicted to them, so can they still cure us completely?

Unlock (2022)

How do we try to unlock our inner potential, or fit ourselves into the masses. Can we? Do we need to? Do we even have the right key for doing this?

Maybe we have the keys and keyholes, but how do we match them if we don’t know which key unlocks the keyhole that we want? Maybe the key we are holding is not for what we want. How do we know? It’s only a feeling.

Inner voice

Surreal self-portrait made on 05.05.2021. It had two versions. This one I re-edited in October 2022, because the first one wasn’t actually finished.

About this artwork:

Some energies are not good and some are good, but we need to listen to our higher self and ask it for help and advice, not someone else’s. Only we know the truth. Our intuition is inside of us. It’s connected to the universe and we need to trust it. To accept our intuition as our voice of inner guidance. Not to do things that are harmful to ourselves or others. Let your inner voice out and let it speak.

Pixelate my love (2022)

Inspired by motherhood, being a wife, and adulthood. Social prohibition is a taboo theme about sex and what women should be.

“No woman gets orgasm from shining kitchen floor” Betty Friedan.

Especially after a wedding, or giving birth to a child we have to plan our love. Sometimes we don’t even have time or energy for that.

The fallos is pixelated, because of our social media rules, which adds a contemporary look to this image. Also, it paints stereotypes about being a woman, sexual priestesses or healers. What if some people don’t understand you, doesn’t matter if we cannot express ourselves in the way we want to. It’s not provocative, but a rebel image against talking about sex.

Sex education should be more spiritual in modern times, not porno-like. Our bodies and sexuality are part of our lives, so why do so many people still ignore and don’t accept their sexuality? Because we are not educated about it, it’s kind of taboo or some kind of bad thing. In my reality, it means to accept yourself, not only your thinking but your passion, your sexuality, past, present, and future.”

Monsters (2021)

“The monsters were never under my bed. Because the monsters were inside my head. I fear no monsters, for no monsters I see. Because all this time the monsters have been me.” Nikita Gill.

Let me in. Let me out. Don’t know what happens if they stay inside. Often we are trying to escape problems, monsters, and fears in our heads, but they are looking at us inside-out.

Fall asleep or ignore them for a while, but they will come back. So we need to meet them again. One way is to let them win. Analyze them and so they don’t come back anymore. Living with negative energy can consume you, so you also become negative, bad, evil and mean to others.

The only thing we can do is to accept our monsters. Accept ourselves as we are, with all our positive and negative energy. So don’t live in your own shadow anymore. At least not so much. It’s a part of the healing process.